Hero Complex
by vanessalengies
Summary: Sequel to Pain. One-shot for now. PeterxEllie. She can feel someone’s eyes on her. It makes her feel somewhat violated. She looks around the room and spots him. His intense blue eyes feel like they are staring straight into her soul. She shivers.


-1**Sequel to Pain. It would make sense to read that little one shot before reading this one. This is a one shot also, at least for now.**

**Disclaimer: Wow, I don't own Degrassi? Thank you captain obvious.**

She doesn't know why she agreed to come here with him.

That's a lie, of course she knows. She thought that him inviting her to a party was some big turning point in their "relationship." She assumed it meant that he was ready for people to know about them being together.

But he really just needed someone to bring. She started to think that when he ditched her when they first walked in, but she definitely knew that for a fact the fifth time he pushed off her hands to go dance with _Manny._

She makes her way over to the keg and gets herself a nice cold cup of beer. Sure it tasted like shit, but she sure as hell isn't going to be ignored at a party by the guy she loves and be sober.

She can feel someone's eyes on her. It makes her feel somewhat violated. She looks around the room and spots him. His intense blue eyes feel like they are staring straight into her soul. She shivers.

She knows of him. Peter Stone, resident jerk turned nice guy at Degrassi. Best known for getting both Manny Santos and Darcy Edwards in trouble with a camera. Oh and there was also the fact that he dated Emma Nelson and got Sean kicked out of school for pot possession.

Apparently he was a good guy now. She rolls her eyes, she'll believe that one when she sees it. Just because he's dating little Ms. God-Child doesn't mean that she's turned him away from the dark side.

God. Why is he still staring? She can't take it anymore. She makes her way outside and sits on a swing, sipping her beer.

She hears footsteps, she turns and sure enough its him making his way over to her. He has a beer in his hand and he takes a seat on the swing next to her.

She looks at him. "What do you want?"

He smiles his adorable smile, "Nothing. You just seemed a little lonely. You know, getting ignored by Spinner in there."

"Oh really? Well where's your little girlfriend? At church?"

He stops smiling and looks down at the ground. "We broke up."

"Oh…I'm sorry…" She doesn't know why, but she doesn't feel so sorry. In fact, her heart does a few cartwheels at this news.

He shakes his head. "Don't be. It wasn't working out. We're too different and there was too much stuff going on, y'know?"

She nods, even though she has no clue what stuff he's talking about. She's _not_ in high school anymore, although she still feels like she is.

He picks his head up and stares at her arm, although mostly covered by her sleeve, some cuts still stand out.

She catches him staring and sighs, clearly annoyed. "You know, I'm really not on a display case in a museum."

He snaps his head up, "I'm sorry, it's just…why would you want to do that?"

"Listen, you don't know the first thing about me, or the shit I have to go through, okay? And what are you, like fifteen? You don't know anything about how much life sucks. The worst thing that probably ever happened to you was your shirt not matching your pants. Your daddy probably went out and bought you fifteen more matching outfits and a new car, so don't act like you know anything about the world."

He looks into her eyes, his blue eyes turning stormy and dark. "And you don't act like you know anything about my life either. Because you don't know shit about me."

He jumps off the swing and storms back into the house, not even looking back one time. She stares at him as he goes, and can't help feeling like crap for upsetting him. She finishes up her beer and goes back inside, where she can't find him anywhere.

But she does spot the boy she came here with coming out of a bedroom with Manny, who is currently re-buttoning her slutty top. Her heart tugs at this and she wonders why she always puts herself in situations where she'd bound to get hurt. Marco, her mom, Sean, Craig, Jessie, they all hurt her. Because she just stood there and let them. She knew this time with Spinner wasn't going to be any different. He could use her all he wanted, and she was always going to keep coming back, because she needed to feel loved, even if he didn't give a shit about her.

He walks over to her. "You ready to go home, El?"

She smiles and nods. It's an automatic reaction at this point. Just smile and nod. It tends to lead people to believe that she's happy and doesn't feel like slamming her face through a glass door every minute of her life.

"You can drive. I'm pretty wasted." He hands her the keys and walks outside, high-fiving random guys as he goes to the car.

She wishes she could just throws his keys back at him and tell him where he can go, but she can't. She knows she's not even going to bring up how she saw him with Manny, it's really not worth it at this point. She takes one last glance around the party, but she doesn't find who she's looking for, just a bunch of random drunk people. She reluctantly walks outside to the car and gets in the drivers seat. She looks over at Spin, who seems to be falling asleep, and that makes her smile a little bit. It's not that she doesn't want to be with him, she's just tired of being his fuck toy and wants one night off. She drives back to the house and walks inside, him trailing behind her. As soon as she hears the door shut, he grabs her arm and turns her around and kisses her hard. She can smell _her_ on him, and her mind screams for her to push him away, slap him even, the kick him out of her house. But she doesn't.

She kisses him back and moves toward the stairs to the bedroom. She's surprised when he picks her up, she didn't know he had the strength in him. She wraps her legs around his waist, as he holds her up and walks up the stairs. She hardly notices when he slams her back against the wall, but she knows she'll be feeling that tomorrow morning. She pulls off his shirt and throws it on the ground as they make their way to her room. He throws her down on the bed and starts kissing her neck, and she can't help but to moan because it feels so good. His hands travel to the hem of her shirt, and he pulls her shirt up over her head and chucks it somewhere. He kisses her shoulders and all the way down to the waist of her jeans.

Sooner or later all of the clothes are shed, thrown into lamp shades, dressers, and other places around her room. She likes to think that they're making love, but she knows love doesn't have anything to do with it. When it's over he rolls over and mumbles how much he loves her and the usual bullshit that she doesn't believe at all.

She couldn't help but to think about Peter the whole time. How his intense eyes stared at her, and how he seemed to want to talk. She wonders where he is now, whether he got home safe or not. She doesn't like that there's a chance that he met a girl and went home with her. In fact, it makes her downright jealous. But that's crazy talk, he wasn't even her boyfriend! Why should she get jealous? She only met him that night, why did she have these strong feelings of jealousy? She doesn't even feel jealous when Spinner is flirting, dancing, hell, even fucking other girls. What the fuck is wrong with her? God, she's so stupid.

Once she's sure that he's sleeping she gets up and grabs a shirt and pants from her drawer, puts them on, and sneaks into the bathroom. She knows she doesn't have to be this sneaky. He doesn't care about her or what she's about to do. She opens the medicine cabinet and takes out her mini scissors. She sits on the floor, and looks at her arm. Her cuts go in all directions and she wonders if her arm is always going to look like this, even if she stops. Will there always be the scars that everyone looks at and makes judgments about? She wants to stop, but she can't, its really the only thing that makes her feel.

She presses the cold blade to her skin and drags. She watches as the blood comes to the surface of the new cut, and sighs as a few beads roll down her arm. She makes a few more cuts in her arm and sits on the floor for a few more minutes. She takes the scissors, stands up, and puts them back into her medicine cabinet. She wets a piece of toilet paper and presses it onto her arm, wiping away any extra blood. She brings her sleeve down over the cuts and walks out of the bathroom and gets back into bed, pulling the covers over herself. She looks over at the sleeping boy and wishes that he could just love her, that would make things so much easier.

Two days later she's sitting in an ice cream parlor, eating an oreo sundae. Spinner said he was hanging out with Marco today, but when she saw Marco at the park with Eric, she knew he was lying. She hears footsteps and looks up from her ice cream sundae and smiles.

"You stalking me now?"

"Maybe." He smirks and messes up his sexy hair in a way that would make her melt, you know, if she had any romantic feelings towards him at all. Which she doesn't. At all.

He sits down in the chair next to her and takes a bite of his sundae. She looks over and smiles.

"What are you eating?"

"Peanut butter sundae." He laughs.

She laughs too. "I love peanut butter."

He raises his eyebrows, "Really? Me too. I also love oreos."

"Together they're amazing."

He nods, "Yeah, they make the perfect pair." He smiles at her.

She smiles back then regains composure. She looks at him seriously. "Listen, about the other night…"

He cuts her off, "No, don't apologize it's fine. Really, I shouldn't have been staring at your arm. I totally understand."

She smiles and nods. "I just get defensive about it sometimes, but I want to apologize. I'm sorry too."

He looks at her then looks around. He stands up and looks down at her.

"Come on, lets go outside. Hang out, talk, whatever."

Now its her turn to raise her eyebrows, "Like a date?"

He smirks. "Not exactly."

"Fine. But just because I don't have anything better to do. This doesn't mean I'm like into you or whatever."

"Of course not," He laughs and walks outside, Ellie following.

They walk in silence for a few minutes before he stops and looks at her. She stares at him back.

"What? Do I have cookie on my face or something?"

"No," He shakes his head, "I was just wondering… why are you with him?"

She's silent for a few seconds, "What do you mean?"

"I mean why are you with him? He's not good enough for you."

"Really? And how do you know that? How do you know that I'm worth anything?" She raises her voice a little at this and tears her gaze away from his, but she can still feel his blue eyes staring at her.

He sighs and reaches out and touches her face, moving her head so that he's looking into her eyes again. "Ellie, I know you're a good person. Even though I just met you, I can tell that you're strong and you're beautiful, and I don't think you should let a guy take away your chance at being happy."

"Oh yeah? How do you know that I'm not happy with him?"

He laughs harshly, "If you were happy with him, would you be doing that to your arm? Because that doesn't seem like behavior of a girl who's happy."

She wipes her eyes quickly, "Fine, you know what? I'm not happy. But it sure as hell beats being alone. He cares about me sometimes, that's all that matters."

"But he doesn't care enough to realize that you're cut up like a turkey on Thanksgiving day! God El, you need to be with someone who is going to care about you all the time, know what's going on with you. Because I don't think that cutting is really going to help you in the long run."

"Well then, who would you suggest being there to save me and know what's going on with me? Who would you suggest to help me give up cutting and be happy?"

His blue eyes turn intense again, "Me."

She looks at him for a second, then pulls him in for a kiss. Dropping her ice cream, she wraps her arms around his neck and continues kissing him.

He pulls away for a second, "So I take that as a yes?" He smirks.

She laughs, nods, and kisses him again. "Why do you want to save me?"

He shrugs, "I guess I just have a hero complex."

She laughs and kisses him again. He takes his hands and wraps them around her, placing them on her lower back, and she knows she's found someone who actually wants to be with her.


End file.
